Sparse but beautiful, like a good decaf

Recently I bought a jar of Percol decaffeinated instant coffee (pictured below). On the back of the jar there's some blurb about Columbia Colombia, where the coffee is grown. I'm somewhat bemused by this sentence:

This landscape is sparse but beautiful in it's own way, like a good decaf.

Never mind the apostrophe - how can a coffee be "sparse but beautiful"? Sparse in flavour?

The coffee isn't bad, by the way, as instant decafs go.

Win Jimmy Carr!

Strange packaging on this soft drink. From a distance it looks like Britvic is offering customers a chance to 'WIN JIMMY CARR' - all the other words are so small they might as well not be there.

I quite like the comedian myself but I'm not sure what I'd do with him if I won him in a competition. Get him to tell me jokes, I suppose.




Anyway, is this 'WIN JIMMY CARR' thing intentional or just a design blunder? What do you reckon?

Photo special: America's favo(u)rite mustard

I took this snap in a South London supermarket.

French's has missed a trick here. If it really is 'America's Favourite Mustard', why not emphasise that by calling it 'America's Favorite Mustard'? I'm sure British shoppers would be able to cope.



Looks like French's has trademarked the phrase, too. I wonder if that's only for the British English spelling?

Photo special: Golters Gift Set

So the last snap before I return from my hols:



If the writing in the photo is not very legible, then please take my word for it that this "Golters Gift Set" is half price. Yes, "Golters Gift Set". The lack of apostrophe doesn't surprise me; the spelling mistake, on the other hand, is rather impressive.

No wonder the gift set is on special offer.

I spotted this in a London branch of Wilkinson.

Marketing gets saucy: HP

Today's award for marketing hyperbole goes to HP Foods, maker of HP Sauce. According to the label on the bottle, HP Sauce is a "legendary and uniquely distinctive taste sensation" and also "everyone's favourite".

I love this for a number of reasons.

1. Everyone's favourite. Just not true.

2. Legendary. I'm not aware of any legends surrounding HP Sauce. If anyone else does, please let me know as I would love to hear them.

3. Taste sensation. Not just a taste but 'a taste sensation'! This sounds impressive, but remember that sensations can be unpleasant as well as pleasant. (I think HP Foods is hoping for association with 'sensational'.)

4. Uniquely distinctive. If it is unique, surely it is also distinctive. Or does HP Foods mean the sauce is distinctive in a way that no other distinctive taste sensation is distinctive? Perhaps - but what does that mean?

(Incidentally, the HP website says the firm has been "providing the nation's sauce solutions for over 100 years" - one for Private Eye's 'Solutions' section perhaps.)

Orangina: not evil, may stain

The product warning saga continues – recently I was highly amused by a warning on a bottle of orange soft drink Orangina: "If spilt, this product may stain."

Really? Unlike orange juice, or other carbonated soft drinks such as Coke, which don't stain at all...

I wonder what compelled Orangina Schweppes, the current manufacturer of the drink, to place this particular warning on the packaging. Perhaps it is connected with the fact that it also encourages you to "shake the bottle, wake the taste" – surely increasing the likelihood of spillage.

Incidentally, one French TV advert for Orangina had - according to Wikipedia - "a mad chainsaw-wielding killer attacking a family in a car who travelled through a forest." The catchphrase: "But why is he so evil?" "Because!"

You've got to love the French...

Shampoo is not a food product

It seems I'm not the only one who reads packaging. Gingerous Humerous Maximus has e-mailed in to tell us that the back of his shampoo bottle contains the statement, "this is not a food product".

Worryingly, this suggests two things. Firstly, that people have mistaken the shampoo for food in the past (or that the manufacturer believes they are likely to do so in the future); and secondly, that the manufacturer feels a warning is likely to dissuade people from eating the shampoo.

I wonder what sort of person thinks, 'I'll eat this shampoo, but before I do so, I'll read the small print on the back of the bottle just in case it isn't edible'.

Gingerous, your attention to detail has saved you once again...